I have always had a theory about people, one that has proven me wrong on more occasions than I care to admit. This theory keeps me smiling, loving & hoping that one day I will be right. This theory is that all people are inherently good. Sure we make poor decisions, even downright bad decisions. But deep down inside our souls, we all want to be loved for who we are & love is a good thing. So, if we seek something so good, we must be good, right? I have been verbally ridiculed for this theory. Life has beaten me with it so many times, it’s a wonder I can still stand. Yet, every morning when I throw my legs over the side of the bed & drag my exhausted, “please let me stay in bed for another 2 hours” body towards the shower, I believe in the hope that my day will be good & I hope it is because I am able to love the uglies.
I know, I know. That sounds horrible & cruel. And it is. If you stop right there. But please keep going. Yes, there are the “People of Wally World” not so pretties. There are always the people we just don’t find physically attractive. But the uglies I’m referring to are the ones inside each & every one of us. The ugly moods, the ugly words, the ugly emotions, the ugly hurts, the ugly behaviors…get it now? I’m sure you do. I’m sure you are right now thinking, “Dang, Zelda from work has ugly moods every day!” or “My husband has ugly behaviors after a few beers.” or even, “I am so ugly from all the gut wrenching hurt in my past, I will never be a pretty.”
Let me back up a bit. I am Matilda Grace. I am a goofy girl from the heartland. I love God & the people in my life with a fierceness, I love to be silly & make people laugh. I do not like to be the center of attention. I do not like to fail. I do not like to hurt people’s feelings, nor have mine hurt. I have loved AND lost. I have struggled & survived. I have been abused & come out swinging. This blog will not be about how to DIY your laundry detergent, (although I have done this & find it awesome). I will not be teaching the world how to eat healthy, erase their carbon footprint or build wells. Also very valuable information, however, I am not an expert in any of those fields. Frankly, I am not an “expert” in any field except my own life. Sadly, that includes some baggage, as does yours. But I’m not reading your blog, you are reading mine. Smile! That was a joke! Quick rewind. So, my life. Tragic? Often. Am I broken? Very. I was encouraged to create this blog to share my journey with others. I will be taking you through my story. The good. The bad. And more importantly, The UGLY. Sure, at times, I may say, “I made the most amazing lasagna last night! Try this:” but that is just me bragging about my mad kitchen skills. Mostly, you will get just raw & real me.
I promise this to you:
- Honesty~even when it hurts me. My truth may be your redemption or freedom. And I really hope it is mine!
- Silliness~I know no other way. I am serious as needed but I love to laugh, giggle & make others do the same.
- Hope~after reading some of my life, this will make more sense, but trust me here. I still get out of bed every dang day. You will be reading my naked reality.
You will see my beginnings, you will learn of the current state of my life & trials, you will see where I’m headed. I’m not proud of everything you will see, but as I sit here at 2 am on a Friday night/Saturday morning, I can say I am proud of the girl that is getting ready to throw open the doors of her world to share with you.
Oh, I almost forgot. The uglies. When I say I hope each day ends with me loving the uglies, it means I hope I remained in control of my own behaviors. I hope I was able to fight against the desire to give in to my own bad moments. I hope I didn’t add an ugly hurt or word or emotion to another person’s life. Instead, I hope I was able to show them the unconditional love we all deserve but so often never receive. I hope that when someone tried to throw uglies at me, that my love for the person inside of them responded with kindness. I hope every person I encountered felt a little more Jesus and a lot less pain. Maybe, just maybe, one day, the people I love so deeply will feel less ugly.
I don’t know if this is how you are starting your morning or ending your day but I issue this challenge…
Try to love the uglies around you for the next 72 hours. See the people you encounter as the broken & hurting hearts they truly are & not just as the rude lady in the check out lane or the jerk that dropped his coffee all over your laptop. Once you stop seeing the behaviors & focus on the hearts~ their brokenness, your love for them will begin to overflow & you will have no choice but to shower them with it. This will change both of you. I truly believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give one another is acceptance & love for who they are right now, in this very second. And when giving that gift to others, we also give it to ourselves.